The challenges of being both Black and Asian during the climate of hate crimes.
To my biracial and multiracial people, a message for you.
Hate crimes are not new. With the increase of accessibility to the media, we almost have very little choice in what we get to consume. On Wednesday, March 17 one of my fellow clinicians advised me to stay away from the news and social media. But because of the nature of my work with the BIPOC community, I did not have much of an option to put a pause on the heartbreaking information I witnessed for the day.
You may have seen it on other pages of this site, but I am loud about my identities as both Black and Asian. It was a paradox, the feeling I felt. I encountered both loneliness and a sense of community at the same time. On one hand, being around spaces where people look like me can be really heavy, and on the other, I felt misunderstood.
This leads me to write this blog, because I cannot be the only one deeply affected by this all. I want to address my communities’ pain.
To my fellow Asian community,
I’m sure there are a plethora of emotions coming up for you right now, and that’s okay. You’re allowed to feel angry, confused, sad, invalidated, scared, or numb all at the same time. Although we know that hate crimes have always existed, having it all pop up over the media can really intensify all the emotions. A lot of things may be coming up for you, and your friends, and your family. A sense of heightened awareness about your safety or thoughts of mortality might enter your mind more frequently. Just so you know, it is very normal to think about your life and of loved ones after mass murders.
Stress and anxiety might be rising. And that’s okay. Your body is doing what it is supposed to do. This thing called fight or flight, yeah - that’s supposed to happen. Of course - there is a real threat to the Asian community, so it makes sense that people who live in our bodies react this way.
I also want to address emotions of anger around the lack of response to Asian Hate. I’ve heard painful statements made because some say there is a more intense and urgent response to the Black Lives Matter movement. I invite you to take a step back for a second and hear me when I say that we are not here to compare war stories. Not one’s pain is better or worse than the other. Our energy needs to be redirected to healing from this pain together.
For so long, the Asian community has been seen as the “model minority,” and I want to start to dismantle that. I want to challenge you to move away from that phrase because the reality is, we live in a world of white supremacy, and just because you are the model, it does not mean you are exempt from racism, microagressions, and discrimination. I know that it does not mean you are exempt from pain, loneliness, and invalidation. To my fellow Asian brothers, sisters, and non-binary folks, I see your pain.
To my Black community,
Here it is again, right? It has never stopped for us. The truth is, whenever hate crimes occur, we are reminded of our own pain and struggle. All the memories and emotions of hate against you are coming back to the surface, and you’re re-experiencing it all over again. It is real. In fact, it’s called vicarious trauma.
You must feel tired and hopeless, maybe even a sense of defeat. You might ask, “How do I take up space in the place where the hate is not directed towards me or my community, but somehow I still receive the pain?”
I get it. And I hear you. For so long Black people are expected to operate at our best when in actuality, we’re still hurting from the trauma of the past and the pains of right now. It’s difficult to heal when the hurt lives in our bodies. Look, it is hard because it is hard. And we know that this isn’t the end. To my fellow black brothers, sisters, and non-binary folks, I see your pain.
To my biracial/multiracial community,
I hear you, and I feel for you. It is one of the most interesting experiences to have both of your identities targeted so intensely in the past year. If you look similar to me, you walk around the world with people only seeing a part of who you are. As a result, others may not fully see that heavy impact of Asian hate. It’s interesting, right? There are so many nuances with race. But I am here to say that just because you are ½ of one race or even ¼ for that matter, it doesn’t mean you are not allowed to hurt and take up space. Each and every part of you is valid. To my fellow biracial and multiracial folks, I see your pain.
————————————————————————————————————————————————————-
My goal is to slowly inch towards liberation. A space and place where we stop surviving and start thriving. Just like you, I am drained from having to explain to others what this is really like, and I am even more drained from suffering in silence.
To those who are hurting, I want you to give yourself permission to rest, play, recover. Let other people in, allow them to help and support you. Take a break, whether or not you feel like you need it. And lastly, do something that will make you feel joy. Just because you and other people are suffering, it does not mean you are not allowed to have the better experiences in life. If there is anything to take away from this, connect with others - because trust me when I say, you are not alone.
For resources, see some of the links below:
To learn more about ways to take care of your mental health, contact Camille at camille@diversifiedtherapyla.com
