Finding Purpose Outside of Work: A Therapist’s Guide
Takeaway: For many people, work is a significant source of purpose and fulfillment. However, being overly invested in your career can also lead to burnout, issues in your personal life, and a lack of direction outside of your job. Here, I share my top tips for cultivating your life outside of work and finding balance.
We live in a generation where a common question when meeting someone new is “What do you do for work?” And depending on the response, people place us in a certain hierarchy. It is therefore not surprising that as a society, we’re consumed by the hustle culture that sometimes it becomes difficult to isolate our identity from our career path. The relentless pursuit of professional excellence often sidelines personal well-being. We find ourselves constantly working, forgetting that there's more to life than the 9-to-5. We are constantly stressed and generally have no life outside of work.
A long week at work can be so consuming. For a lot of us, it supports our living expenses. For some of us, we can’t just up and quit our jobs if we feel stressed or unhappy. It is not a realistic (or sometimes not advisable) option to give it up without a plan. I also don't blame you, we live in a society that tells us that happiness depends on how successful we are in our career path. In this article, we’ll look into the importance of maintaining a robust life outside of our job and offer actionable tips to help you reclaim your work-life balance. With these practical strategies, it can help you start finding purpose outside of work.
Understanding the importance of work-life balance
With the prevalence of remote jobs today, it’s normal for the lines between professional life and your personal one to blur. Some people take their work “back home” with them after the workday ends. And before we know it, our entire life becomes dedicated to our career path. Many people work right from their home office. Home is no longer just a place where you leave work behind and unwind.
Numerous studies have revealed the significance of maintaining a balance between one's professional life and personal responsibilities. When working with my clients, I emphasize the need for this balance.
The lack of harmony between both can manifest in various ways. It could look like someone consistently spending long hours at work, not taking weekends or holidays off, and not leaving sufficient time for personal activities like hobbies, relaxation, socializing, or taking care of our health through nutrition and movement.
A poor work-life balance can lead to a lot of negative impacts which can affect your work and also create a ripple effect that extends beyond the workplace. Some of the potential pitfalls could be:
Physical and mental burnout: When we overcommit to a job without giving ample time for personal satisfaction, it can affect our mental and physical health leading to burnout. Emily Nagosaki, in her book on burnout, says: "To be “well” is not to live in a state of perpetual safety and calm, but to move fluidly from a state of adversity, risk, adventure, or excitement, back to safety and calm, and out again. Stress is not bad for you; being stuck is bad for you.”
Strained Relationships: You may find yourself constantly taking work phone calls or checking your work emails at home or social gatherings. Prioritizing your career is admirable, and doing it at the expense of personal relationships can negatively impact these bonds. When you neglect friends and family due to excessive demands of your job, it gives room for tension and isolation.
Decreased Productivity: Ironically, working excessively does not make you more productive. Rather, it reduces productivity because fatigue and stress take a toll on cognitive functions.
Health Issues: Overworking for a prolonged period can also contribute to health problems, from having difficulty sleeping to more severe conditions.
Special considerations for professionals of color
The struggle of finding a work-life balance is even more complex for people of color in professional settings. Trying to maintain a healthy harmony can be more difficult considering the unique challenges we have to face in the corporate world.
Additional layers of stress can be caused by microaggressions, unconscious bias, limited representation in leadership roles, and disparities in opportunities available to people of color. These challenges prompt people of color to exert extra effort to succeed. Remember the saying “You have to work twice as hard to be just as good?” As such, it becomes more difficult to carve out personal time or maintain a healthy balance. Unconscious biases we face in the workplace can take a toll on the mental and emotional health of professionals of color. We constantly have to experience these subtle but profound challenges and they can contribute to stress. It is therefore very important to proactively address and counteract these experiences.
It is important to recognize that these issues are not the fault of one individual but are deeply rooted in the larger cultural systems. Sometimes, we subconsciously participate in these biases. By acknowledging our realities and bringing light to potential internalized ideas as professionals of color, we can reclaim control over our work-life balance.
These issues are real and challenging, it is crucial to emphasize that individuals are not solely responsible for dismantling these systems. Instead, this discussion aims to empower professionals of color by providing insights and strategies to navigate these challenges, together.
6 tips for how to find fulfillment outside of work
There isn't an ideal way to find fulfillment in your life outside of work. People discover it in different ways and at different points in their lives. It can be hazardous to have your work be the only thing that defines your identity. Below are six actionable tips that can guide you on how to find fulfillment outside of work
1. Self-awareness and Reflection
I consistently emphasize the significance of introspection. You may find yourself contemplating, "I have no life outside of work" This marks the beginning of comprehending how your time is allocated. To start this process, contemplate posing challenging questions to yourself.
How do I build self-esteem outside of work?
Is it okay to have a life outside work?
What do people do when they get off of work?
These questions can guide you in starting to explore what is important to you and shed light on how you’ve been spending your time.
2. Figure out what you love to do, your hobbies and passions
One way to find fulfillment outside of work is to invest time in your hobbies and passions. It’s a perfect way to experiment! Engaging in activities you are genuinely passionate about can provide a sense of purpose and joy that is not tied to your work. Whether it's pursuing an artistic endeavor you were once passionate about, exploring a new sport, or delving into new hobbies that you've always been curious about, these activities contribute to a well-rounded and satisfying life.
3. Nurture meaningful relationships with family and friends
Oftentimes, we find fulfillment in the strong social connections we create with others. Choose to spend time with family, friends, or even people within a community. Learn to nurture these meaningful relationships. Invest quality time together in building strong social connections that provide support, understanding, and shared experiences. These connections can increase sense of belonging and purpose that are outside your work.
4. Cultivate a healthy lifestyle:
A healthy lifestyle is the foundation for overall well-being. You can prioritize your physical health through exercise, a nourishing diet, and adequate sleep. These habits are usually the first to go when we are feeling overwhelmed. A healthy body aids a healthy mind. I also want to emphasize that this doesn’t have to be “perfect.” It doesn’t mean eating only veggies and lifting weights, movement could be anything you enjoy and also eating foods that bring you joy.
5. Set and pursue personal goals
To create more of that equilibrium, it’ll be helpful to explore your personal goals and pursue them. This can give you a sense of direction and achievement that is not tied to just your work. These goals can be small or ambitious but should be tailored to your aspirations like a passion project. Maybe it's spending time learning a new skill, joining a class, going on a solo travel adventure, or achieving a fitness milestone. When you set these goals and accomplish them, the sense of fulfillment positively impacts your mental health.
6. Get creative
Doing a creative activity completes our stress cycle. It lets our bodies know that we can relax and are no longer in fight or flight mode. Creative and artistic expressions have been scientifically proven to have numerous benefits. It is a mood booster, it enhances cognitive functions, and alleviates anxiety. It is a therapeutic way to tap into your emotions, thoughts, and imagination. Music, art, writing, or any other creative outlet allows you to express yourself from a deeper, more authentic place. On top of that, exploring your creativity is an excellent way to connect with like-minded people who share your interests. You could join an art class, a writing group, or a music ensemble. You're very likely to find individuals who share your passion in these communities. When you form connections through common interests and building new skills together, it significantly improves your sense of fulfillment and happiness.
Lastly, taking a step back from whatever it is that we are working on reduces stress and can give us new perspectives. We can go back to our job with a clearer point of view.
A therapist’s perspective on cultivating life outside of work
As a therapist, I have witnessed the toll that an excessive focus on work can take on an individual. Many clients have expressed feeling nervous, disoriented, and cut off from themselves when they're not at work.
Genuinely worried about how to have a life outside of work, clients would ask or make statements like:
How do I rest when I have so much to do
By the time I’m done with work, I’m exhausted. I don’t have time for extra activities.
How do I build self-esteem or a sense of self outside of work?
How do I find fullfiment outside of work?
For me, this is still a work in progress. Being an entrepreneur, there is always work to do since wear so many hats as a solo practitioner. I had to redefine what productivity meant to me. I have to remind myself that rest is productive. I also recently read Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey. One of the takeaways for me was that my ancestors did not learn how to rest, and it is up to me to start to break that generational pattern.
There’s no doubt that striving for a successful career is important and even encouraged, and it's just as important to cultivate a fulfilling life separate from work. To be clear, having that sweet spot of balance between work and personal is not just a matter of having a lot of free time dedicated to play; it's about finding purpose beyond the confines of your job, and not substituting strong social connections with people with work. It’s also about exploring interests that extend beyond the professional context.
This constant hustle and bustle of succeeding in the workplace can create a sense of emptiness notwithstanding the extent of the success you achieve. And that is why I highlight the importance of having other avenues that contribute to personal growth, happiness, and satisfaction.
The first step to cultivating a life outside of work is recognizing that your purpose is not tied to just professional achievements. It’s better to nurture other aspects of your life that bring you joy, meaning, and a sense of accomplishment. For these reasons, I encourage individuals to dedicate free time to exploring their hobbies, relationships, and personal passions. This can foster a more holistic sense of self. Through my years of practice, I've observed different cases where individuals, initially consumed by work-related concerns, discovered a renewed sense of purpose by engaging in activities that brought them genuine joy. It is important to be open-minded throughout this process and set clear boundaries between work and personal life.
We must disregard the common misconception that a thriving career equates to a fulfilling life. In reality, a well-rounded and wonderful life is one that healthily blends work and personal life.
Through therapeutic discussion, preferably with a professional, you’ll realize that it is fulfilling to find a purpose beyond work.
Get the personalized support you need to find fulfillment in your career and at home.
Like I tell my clients, you are more than your work and you can achieve fulfillment in both your career and your personal life. One doesn’t have to give way to the other. Besides, in the long run, success is not solely measured by career achievements, but by the richness of experiences, alliances with others, and the growth you make along the way. Finding a balance can be tricky but you don't have to do it alone. If you're looking for personalized support to help you figure out who you are outside of work, you've come to the right place.
My therapeutic approach goes beyond giving you tools. Instead, you'll be provided with a customized roadmap for figuring out your purpose. Whether you're having trouble balancing your professional and personal life, facing obstacles at work, or simply seeking a greater purpose, I am here to guide you toward a more fulfilling life.
Imagine a future where you wake up excited about your work and at the end of the day, you come home to a life that brings you joy. Reach out for a consultation and let's work together to achieve this future.
